How Do You Make God Laugh?

An all to familiar scenario occurred on Wednesday morning. I was getting ready for my next lesson, when I was called into the Headmaster's office, and told the Vice Principal was waiting there as well. As soon as I entered his office it was clear that the news was not good. I was told that although I was not being fired, they no longer have a position here for me at NIS for next year. The enrollment for this grade level is only at 12 students, which means only one teacher is necessary. In this case my teaching partner has been here for 13 years, so it's obvious who must go. The situation is more complex, but I will get to that. After hearing this news I immediately went into meltdown mode. As hard as I tried to fight the tears back, they won. I was excused from the meeting and told to let him know about recommendations, which he would be happy to give. I made my way to the nearest restroom, and promptly had a panic attack. I am not a particularly dramatic person, but given the circumstances and the fact that this very same thing happened to me already within the last year, it makes sense that I completely lost control. It's like someone has just punched you in the exact spot that has already been bruised and it just really hurts. There is also the fact that I am currently living on my own in SE Asia, with no back up plan or safety net. Starting over yet again is a frightening prospect.

The rest of the day is a bit of a blur. I pretty much just went into survival mode. I had to avoid my closest friends at lunch for fear that as soon as I saw them I would lose it again. After school brought more tears, a pedicure, take out and an early bed time. Then waking up in the middle of the night only to cry myself back to sleep, and again in the morning as I got ready for school.
The next morning meant having to break the news to my teaching partner. We work very well together and have become quite close this year. Earlier in the year she had approached our Vice Principal about next year. For the past two years in a row enrollment has looked low for K-2 as of the end of the school year, but by August it increased dramatically leaving her with far too many students. Two years ago Kam was brought in, and this year it was me. History continued to repeat itself and it is likely that she will have to go though this all over again for the third year in a row. When she had this conversation with our VP she was told there would be two teachers next year and not to worry. No one has approached her about the class size or the fact that she will be solo, and clearly our Headmaster has made the executive decision. Bottom line is if I am not in K-2 with Shafaq, I don't want to be at NIS. Although recommendations are being offered no effort has been made to find me another placement within the school. I know that there are openings that I am qualified for. Some I am supposed to know about, and some I am not. Clearly I am not seen as enough of an asset. I have only been here for 6 months, and am choosing to focus my energy on my next move over wondering why.
So within a day I have gone from meltdown mode to figure it out mode. I have already made connections via friends to a recruiter in Korea, and a senior staff member of an agency who works with International Schools all over the world. There are other schools in Chiang Mai, but unfortunately it is late in the game and pretty much everywhere in Thailand has already done their recruiting/ hiring. The other factor at play is now I am considered a "local hire" which means I am less likely to get a contract that includes benefits and a flight package for a visit home. This means my best bet is to leave Thailand for a year, and possibly come back as an International hire again. The decision has been made to pursue Korea. There is a lot of money to be made there. I have struggled financially this year as NIS is one of the lowest paying International Schools in Thailand. I am currently communicating with the recruiter in Seoul to figure it all out. Ideally I will stay in CM for 4 more months, and then move on to start a job there. I plan to leave it at that for now. No use in making too many plans 'cause the Universe doesn't cooperate anyway.

Single Serving Friends

March 11th marked my 6 month anniversary of arrival in SE Asia and has got me to thinking a lot about relationships. Moreover, I have been thinking a lot about how fleeting relationships can be here. I know I mentioned this a few posts back, but it has weighed enough on my mind lately that I decided it deserves an entire post.
Chuck Palahniuk coined the term "single serving friends" in his novel turned movie, "Fight Club." This refers to those people you meet, exchange stories with, maybe spend a large chunk of time with all at once, and then most likely never see again (like on an airplane). This is a very common occurrence in the life of an expat. So there are two ways you can view this: for an optimist this can be seen as an amazing opportunity to meet different people from all over the world, and make connections. For those who are perpetual pessimists you could say that we are constantly investing time in people we will likely never see again. I like to believe I am somewhere in the middle. With modern day technology, mainly Facebook, you can maintain at least some sort of connection. Plus there is always the possibility that your paths will cross again at some point, whether intentionally or not. I like the idea of knowing people from all around the world. If I visit the hometown of someone I met while traveling one day there will be that familiar face. On the flip side these Single Serving friends make for a very inconsistent life style. Here in CM I am lucky enough to have a support network of a few close friends, whom I know have my back. I couldn't ask for much more after only 6 months. I often come across visitors that I wish were around longer, and this is always a tough one. There is the constant possibility for a meaningful friendship or even relationship, just not given the circumstances and/or timing. You are forced to really know yourself, and have a lot of independence whether you like it or not. To know this is to understand you can be surrounded by people, but feel lonelier than you have ever been before.

Adventure Indeed

Little did I know when I wrote that "adventure awaits," that the following weeks would be full of it...

It all started with an impromptu trip with a new friend around the Golden Triangle which is an area where Thailand meets Laos and Burma. Most of the day is spent in the van, but it is a unique experience. The White temple in Chiang Rai is now in my top 3 of temples I have seen here, including Shwedagon Paya in Myanmar. The White Temple has been funded and created by one man. He is an artist and is currently painting a very modern art mural on the inside. At the very top there is a Buddha and lotus flower above a skull. The rest is representations of American Pop Culture including but not limited to: Spider Man, Angry Birds, Harry Potter, Keanu Reeves- Matrix style, and The World Trade Center exploding while a snake and gas pump are wrapped around it. It appears this man really needs to learn how to form an opinion ;)

The following week I had my first motorbike wreck on a Sunday afternoon. It was very minor, but not to me! A Thai girl in front of me slammed on her brakes (for absolutely NO reason), and somehow I lost control and ended up on the ground when I reacted. It was one of those bizarre moments where everything is in slow motion, you don't recall what happened, and it's just a blur. Luckily an Australian couple was nearby, and the man came running out into the street to help me. He spoke to me, but I have no idea what he said. Shock I suppose. They stayed with me for a few minutes. My injuries were very minor, and luckily I had worn jeans that day. He offered to take me home by driving my bike for me. I gracefully declined, it was very kind but I knew I had to just get back on. Thankfully I was only a kilometer or so from home. As much as I am ready to have my own home again, there is nothing better than having a Thai Mom to come home to after that. She tended to my injuries, and there was no need to go to the hospital. The following day I was quite sore. Compared to the way these things usually go down I was very lucky, and it was extremely minor. However it still took it's toll in my head. Instead of just being pissed off all the time at the absolutely incomprehensible idiocy of Thai drivers, this was now combined with extreme fear. The problem is although you have to learn not to be too defensive (because Thai's can be extremely aggressive), it is equally as dangerous to be overly passive. It's taken me about a week to come back to a happy medium.

So for now I am just enjoying having visitors, and waiting out the just-over-a-week until we leave for the Thai Islands. Ready to get my tan on, and lay on the beach with a book. Let's keep it to this kind of adventure for while...