Toto We're Not in Thailand Anymore

It has been a week since my arrival in Korea. I am not sure I was prepared for how different it is than anywhere else I have lived. The travel portion went smoothly and I was immediately thrown into working the next day. This proved to be welcome as my apartment contains only a mat on the floor, no internet, cable, or TV for that matter. After 3 days at school I got the next 6 days off for Korean Thanksgiving. Luckily I do know a few people in the city and made a friend from school who has been really good to me. A description of this place is still not something I can put into words at this point. I can say however, that I am a lot more overwhelmed by Seoul than I expected. Over 10.5 million people! Its nuts. The level of modernization was so quick it seems that society as a whole hasn't quite caught up. The juxtaposition of uber modern meets traditional is interesting. Again I don't really know how to articulate this any further. The cost of living seems to be on par with America and they looove their tech gadgets. I went to get a phone and ended up with a used Galaxy, it's really a  nice phone. The people in the shop all lined up at the counter to help me and we made lots of hand gestures. As soon as they discovered my new tablet it was promptly taken for a game of Angry Birds Space. A sales guy brought me a mango soda. They were delightful although no English was exchanged. At school my hair has been the major topic. The kids keep asking me why my hair is light and my eyes are blue. They are so curious. Some of them smell me. The last day before break a few teachers asked if they could touch it and likened it to "Barbie Doll Hair." Funny thing is I have been to multiple countries where its noticed, but not to this extent. It's a little much sometimes as I am not big on being the center of attention but I understand the natural curiosity that comes with foreigners who look so different. People stare at me constantly, but I will take it over being called "Falang" all the time.  So far I have gotten to know my home area of Ilsan, had a few subway excursions, and seen the inside of lots of bars. It's amazing how even a well traveled westerner can still be completely overwhelmed by a new place. I am missing the comforts of having a home, and this vagabond lifestyle makes them fleeting. The locals are perfectly kind but I have noticed they do not smile the same as Thais or Oregonians. So far if I ask for help from a stranger, I shall receive, but the overall demeanor is more subdued. It's not good or bad, it just is. I appreciate the directness but still feel I have a lot to learn. As this first week comes to a close I am very aware of how whelmed I am, not over or under, but just so. I am longing for the familiarity of Thailand and home but excited to continue on this new journey.

An American Girl In Seoul

Who knew this would turn into a series?! Here is part deux: meganseoul.blogspot.com

Today I Leave Thailand

These past few weeks have been a roller coaster. A fall out with some friends made for some serious heartbreak, which became another life lesson learned. One of the hardest things about growing up is learning about burning bridges. When you are the type of person who cares so deeply for people it is easy to become a door mat. I thought I had learned how to discern between quality over quantity. I am now realizing that there are times where you need to be the one to light that match and walk away. Saying goodbye to NIS was like a bad dinner party you excuse yourself early from, due to a "headache." There are people there who touched my heart and at one point I did love that place so it's not all negative memories. I have to say lately I have felt like the people I thought were my friends here in Thailand truly were friendships out of convenience. With the exception of one person, (and a few wonderful colleagues) you know who you are. The real relationship I am leaving behind is the one I have with Thailand. I have learned so much here. At times dysfunctional, this love hate relationship has changed me forever and I would not trade it for anything. This is my final post as “An American Girl in Chiang Mai.” I will continue a new blog as “An American Girl in Seoul.” I am choosing to leave you with my final words of things I have learned so here it goes, my Words of Wisdom From Thailand Remember you are in a conservative Buddhist country and be respectful of their values and beliefs, Don’t wear a wrap dress on a motorbike, If you chose to get on a motorbike be prepared to crash at least once, Smiling will get you much further than frustration, Smile especially when you are feeling frustrated, Get used to the word “Farang,” Take a moment on occasion to remember not to take yourself too seriously, People will call you fat. You are not Thai size and that’s okay, Complete strangers will go out of their way far more than you would ever expect, when you least expect it. Sometimes when you need it more than they will ever know, Life is different here. Don’t look at a more simplified, hard working life with pity, but stop to think about how much happier people seem. You might even find yourself envying them, Soak it up and learn as much as you can. Stop, pay attention, and observe. There is a lot more to “The Land of Smiles” than meets the eye.

Chiang Rai

On the Golden Triangle trip I passed though Chiang Rai. It is very similar to Chiang Mai so aside from the famous White Temple there’s not much reason to visit there when you live in CM. Unfortunately on the tour we had barely 30 min at the Temple and it was just too rushed. I promised myself I would go back and do it at my own pace. So again I chose motorbike over minibus (on that Golden Triangle ride before we even made it to CR someone vomited in the mini bus). It’s 263 Kilometers from CM on not nearly as fun and curvy but still breathe taking and beautiful. Although mentally ready to leave Thailand there were moments where I looked at the scenery and thought to myself “You are going to miss this.” I stayed in a bit nicer place as it was just for one night and I got an excellent low season price, plus haggled discount. Luckily the Guest House I am staying at in CM let me keep my things there without paying for the night in both places. The guest house was nice. I spent the late afternoon at the white temple. It was really nice to take my time and see everything as I wanted to without feeling rushed. It was also practically empty so taking photos was easier. The White Temple is a modern project which began in 1997 by a local artist named Mr Chalermchai Kositpipat . He is responsible for creating and funding the entire place which is ongoing and not expected to be completed for decades. On the inside is a mural depicting a Buddha on a lotus and all sorts of modern pop culture icons. It’s pretty amazing and a very direct social commentary. The photos speak for themselves and I would recommend it to anyone. On my way home from the temple I was pulling in to the driveway of the hotel when a guy on a motorbike (trying to go around me as I was turning with my signal on right next to the driveway!) slammed into my bike. He scraped me up a bit but just sat there stunned. I looked at him and shooed him off as I was pretty pissed at him for being such and idiot and yelling at people in public is frowned upon in Thai society. Took nap that evening, checked out the CR Night Bazaar which isn’t much to see then retired to my room to watch the season 4 episode of Sons of Anarchy and enjoy my cushy bed with an air conditioned room. I got a really good deal with my bartering skills. I have been on a role with that lately as my Thai has improved dramatically. The next day I slept in, checked out and set off for the “Black House.” It is often referred to as a temple but I was told by locals it is not in fact a temple. The photos cannot do justice to this place. As I arrived I entered the main house. It began to monsoon downpour so everyone cleared out. The care takers began shutting all the windows. I found myself trapped with a few tourists and 2 monks for about 15 min in almost all dark surrounded by animal bones and skins. The Thai artist responsible is Mr. Thawan Duchanee and the grounds include nearly 40 small black houses made of wood, glass, concrete, bricks, or terracotta in various unique styles and design scattered around the temple’s area. This has been a project ongoing for 36 years and development still continues. The cluster of houses accommodates Thawan’s collections of paintings, sculptures, animal bones, skins, horns, and silver and gold items from around the world. Several of the houses exhibit Balinese and Burmese architecture and art dating back to the Ayutthaya period. The artist uses bones as a source of inspiration to paint. Live animals are also housed on the property including a bird, two huge pythons and some horses. When I asked the locals about this they said they inspire him. The place gives you an eerie feeling to say the least, and the rainstorm cleared everyone out so I was pretty much alone which added to the eeriness, but I loved it. I found it absolutely fascinating and so different from anything I have ever seen. I stayed a lot longer than I had originally planned so got a later start back to CM than originally planned but still made it back by dusk.

Pai

This past week I stayed in a guest house due to a falling out over the planned living situation. This is what lead to buying a plane ticket home much sooner. Before leaving Thailand there were two things I absolutely had to do. See Pai, and return to Chiang Rai for a final visit to the White Temple, which also included a visit to the Black House. After much debate between taking the mini bus that runs hourly from CM to Pai or Motorbiking it I decided to take the Fino. I had been on part of the road to Pai when I went camping in a truck, and it's no joke. Near the beginning of the journey I was coming around a corner and a snake was crossing the road at the same time. It was at least 6 feet long and the width of my arm. Scared me to death and there was no avoiding it. It squirmed and my guess is the truck I had just passed finished the job unless it made it's way across first. Biggest snake I saw while there but at least it wasn't face to face. We are talking major mountain switchbacks plus potholes and dodging water buffalo, along with their poo. Thing is the mini bus drivers are batshit and drive like maniacs insuring that on each trip at least someone gets sick. If that person isn't you, you still have to deal with the smell. I have in that situation just different destination. Fino won, and I did the 138 Kilometer drive on my motorbike. It was fun, I loved it, and some might think I am nuts but it made me happy. Pai proved to be lovely. The first night I stayed in a hostel based on a recommendation by a friend. Beautiful, in the middle of a rice field, the accommodation is a hut with bunks, mosquito nets and no actual walls. I lasted there one night. Not because of the place itself, but the vibe of the group staying at the time. Luckily I met some lovely Irish guys who felt the same and we stuck together a bit. The day I arrived I immediately took off for Pam Bok Waterfall. On the way in I had busted up my toe and the kind people at the hostel helped me patch it up. Well it turned out the only way to actually see/ photograph the waterfall was to get in the water. Oh well I figured there are lots of good minerals and shit in that water, never mind all the bacteria. It was beautiful. Next was Pai Canyon. It was about half past 4 so I headed up with the intention to hike around the canyon and take photos back at the top for sunset. Well my attempt was foiled by my busted up, now waterfall soaked, toe. It's about 13 km out of town so it didn't make town to go and come back. I just hung. Sunset was at 7. I arrived about 5. Let's just say a lot of photos, and directly following my "cousin it" photo a Chinese man approached to as if "I need some help." Sunset proved to be worth it. I headed back into town and found a place to eat. Ran into some acquaintances, went to a bar, had a beer. Then a bucket. Then some more drinks. I don't recall paying for a single drink and I am not quite sure how that happened. Eventually we ended up at a bar just near the road to the hostel. The Irish guys jumped in the back of a police pick up truck and hitched a ride. Once I arrived at the after hours bar I decided it was time to call it a night and went to my bunk, snuggled into my mosquito net and assed out. The next day I woke up and decided that I needed my own room that night. It was fine I just had this feeling there were going to be thunderstorms that afternoon (which proved true) and wanted my own space to hang out. I checked out and found a great little guest house that gave me a room w/ double bed, cable tv, own bathroom/ shower for only 50 baht more than the night before. He also gave me low season plus a bit of a discount. I set off for a waterfall and ended up on a trek through the jungle only to find the trail washed out. So I high tailed it out of there and went to another falls. It was quite the jungle trek, all alone and I got a bit freaked out. I am pretty hard core and tough but turns out even I have a limit. I set off for another waterfall and spent about an hour there before the thunder started so I left and went to take a nap in my cozy room. I woke up just in time for sunset, and the storm had passed. I decided to motorbike up to a well known temple that is a viewpoint over all of Pai. Well the storm hadn't cleared enough and it was still rainy and too cloudy for a sunset. There were about 10 other people up there and I sat for a bit. Then when I went to explore the temple I slipped on the wet tail and bruised the hell out of my ass. A few of the guys rushed over to help. Mostly embarrassed and wet, but we had a good laugh. So typical. Later that night I went out to buy a souvenir tee shirts and ran into the Irish guys. We had a lovely steak dinner and I had a great nights sleep only to leave the next morning back to CM for the super fun ride on my motorbike. Trip complete, mission successful and all around lovely.

"I am moving to another country."

A few days ago I said the words out loud for the first time. "I am moving to another country." It's funny how we process things and although it weighs heavily on the mind, it usually takes time for reality to set in. Transitions are a funny thing. Whether it's a new job, getting married, having kids, or moving to another country sooner than expected, we all process in different ways. Lately I have found myself trapped in this. Mind racing. Wondering. The emotions attached to this have been unexpected and not the easiest to deal with. Sorting through what's real and what is just a product of my stress has been tricky. I don't feel like my head is in the best place but don't know how to talk to anyone about it because I myself don't completely understand what is going on. It's bringing up a fair amount of insecurity and sadness that I was not prepared for. I know I have been stubborn about the whole "everything happens for a reason" crap but it seems this move was a blessing in disguise. The school I work for is a mess and people who have been there for over 10 years are resigning. We have a new administration this year and they rule with an iron fist, creating a culture of fear and it's ugly. There was a time when I loved working there, so it saddens me, but such is life. Sometimes things that happen to us appear negative when really they are just the swift kick we need to move on. So what's my problem then? I know all this yet still am struggling with this transition. Thailand and I have a bit of a dysfunctional relationship but at the end of the day there is love. Maybe it's the uncertainty? It has been less than a year since I packed up my life and moved here only to be "kicked off the island" and forced to figure things out on my own again. I don't really know... but that is the point, I suppose. There are so many things to look forward to but I feel like they are just out of my reach right now. I am elated at the thought of being home in Oregon, seeing my family and friends, and embarking on a new adventure in Seoul. I think we all struggle with wishing away time at certain points in life. I am not sure which way is up at the moment, but it's alright. There is no reason to feel sorry, my life is amazing and I know it but that doesn't mean it's not difficult at times. We have to acknowledge these things in order to sort through them, so here's hoping.

Reality? Check!

As I drove to school the air was cool, a welcome relief provided by a storm passing through the night before. For a moment it reminded me of home. Naturally rain makes me miss Oregon, but with the craziness of the past few days my mind quickly went back to spinning... It started with a trip earlier in the week to the US Embassy in Chiang Mai. A very unsuccessful trip that reminded me just how useless we are back in the good old U S of A. It was possibly the swift kick back to reality that I needed to remind myself why it is I have chosen, and will continue to, live abroad. I had made an appointment at 8:15 hoping they would help with my background check for Korea. It requires fingerprints to be submitted to the FBI and after asking around a few people had told me to go there before trying the Thai Police. I arrived, showed my passport and entered a room that is only for security checks. They put my purse through the x- ray and promptly asked me to remove any electronics. So I took out my phone and headphones, thinking that would be all. Then they asked for my lip gloss, so i pulled out two from a side pocket. Then my sunglasses. Followed by everything else that could be considered a cosmetic and I am not talking over 100 ml here. But you see there is a rip in the lining of my purse, and all sorts of goodies have fallen down there. So finally I just asked if I could leave the whole thing with them and with a look of relief the security guard agreed. Politely I took my passport, paperwork and wallet and proceeded to the next room. I sat for 20 minutes only to be given a print out from the website (that I had already seen), and told I need to go to Bangkok to get my fingerprints done. When I asked the Thai women helping me if she could suggest anywhere local she replied with, "we don't like to tell people where to go in Chiang Mai. We used to do it here at the embassy, but not anymore. I'm sorry." I politely smiled and got up to walk away, but I am sure I could not hide the look on my face that read: Really?! OK so that was a complete waste of time and sent me into a tailspin as I drove back to school. That same morning I discovered that I had a lump in my armpit. About the size of a marble, semi- hard, and very sore. While travelling in the Islands I had noticed a bit of soreness but chalked it up to a nick from shaving or an ingrown hair. Once it became larger and that sore I knew I had to go get it checked out. So after school I went to Rajavej Hospital near my house, with a stop off at home to wait out the afternoon downpour. The attending physician examined me by pressing firmly on my armpit. When he asked me if it hurt, I replied yes. The reason being he was hurting me. Ultimately he concluded I must have lifted something that strained my muscles. I tried to explain to him that there was in fact a lump there, but I didn't get the feeling he understood. I decided that if the problem persisted I would seek a second opinion. Luckily it went away within about a week. Now I have an identical one on the other side. Not a cause for concern at this point. It is ridiculously hot, and I sweat. A lot. It seems perfectly natural that this would throw some things outta whack. Let's just say if you ever truly dislike someone, send them to Thailand in April. The next morning I woke up just before 5 am. This has become a daily occurrence thanks to the heat and lack of A/C in my household. As I was drinking my one cup of morning coffee, watching New Girl, Pom my Thai Mom came running upstairs looking startled. She was shouting in Thai to wake up her son who is visiting. I like to call him Chef. As they came back downstairs I realized there was a Farang man, with very slurred speech, out on the front porch. My first instinct was that he must be very drunk but as the details emerged it seems he was likely on something as well. He had climbed the wall next to our house and fallen into the side yard. Mom was back in the kitchen and thought something had happened to me in the shower. Upon further investigation this inebriated man emerged nearly scaring her to death. He was looking for his hotel and had lost his wallet. Chef speaks English and is a rather large Thai man so it's a good thing he was there. Otherwise I may have had to deal with him as the only other English speaker currently in the house (Tui is away). They went out to the street and after about 15 min, as I was stepping out of the shower, I could hear this Farang shouting profanities at Chef and the Tuk Tuk driver who had arrived. Eventually they managed to get him in taxi and off to his hotel. I wondered what would happen with the driver since this guy had no money. It still blows my mind how people behave this way in such a foreign place. Can you say Thai Jail?