Toto We're Not in Thailand Anymore

It has been a week since my arrival in Korea. I am not sure I was prepared for how different it is than anywhere else I have lived. The travel portion went smoothly and I was immediately thrown into working the next day. This proved to be welcome as my apartment contains only a mat on the floor, no internet, cable, or TV for that matter. After 3 days at school I got the next 6 days off for Korean Thanksgiving. Luckily I do know a few people in the city and made a friend from school who has been really good to me. A description of this place is still not something I can put into words at this point. I can say however, that I am a lot more overwhelmed by Seoul than I expected. Over 10.5 million people! Its nuts. The level of modernization was so quick it seems that society as a whole hasn't quite caught up. The juxtaposition of uber modern meets traditional is interesting. Again I don't really know how to articulate this any further. The cost of living seems to be on par with America and they looove their tech gadgets. I went to get a phone and ended up with a used Galaxy, it's really a  nice phone. The people in the shop all lined up at the counter to help me and we made lots of hand gestures. As soon as they discovered my new tablet it was promptly taken for a game of Angry Birds Space. A sales guy brought me a mango soda. They were delightful although no English was exchanged. At school my hair has been the major topic. The kids keep asking me why my hair is light and my eyes are blue. They are so curious. Some of them smell me. The last day before break a few teachers asked if they could touch it and likened it to "Barbie Doll Hair." Funny thing is I have been to multiple countries where its noticed, but not to this extent. It's a little much sometimes as I am not big on being the center of attention but I understand the natural curiosity that comes with foreigners who look so different. People stare at me constantly, but I will take it over being called "Falang" all the time.  So far I have gotten to know my home area of Ilsan, had a few subway excursions, and seen the inside of lots of bars. It's amazing how even a well traveled westerner can still be completely overwhelmed by a new place. I am missing the comforts of having a home, and this vagabond lifestyle makes them fleeting. The locals are perfectly kind but I have noticed they do not smile the same as Thais or Oregonians. So far if I ask for help from a stranger, I shall receive, but the overall demeanor is more subdued. It's not good or bad, it just is. I appreciate the directness but still feel I have a lot to learn. As this first week comes to a close I am very aware of how whelmed I am, not over or under, but just so. I am longing for the familiarity of Thailand and home but excited to continue on this new journey.

An American Girl In Seoul

Who knew this would turn into a series?! Here is part deux: meganseoul.blogspot.com

Today I Leave Thailand

These past few weeks have been a roller coaster. A fall out with some friends made for some serious heartbreak, which became another life lesson learned. One of the hardest things about growing up is learning about burning bridges. When you are the type of person who cares so deeply for people it is easy to become a door mat. I thought I had learned how to discern between quality over quantity. I am now realizing that there are times where you need to be the one to light that match and walk away. Saying goodbye to NIS was like a bad dinner party you excuse yourself early from, due to a "headache." There are people there who touched my heart and at one point I did love that place so it's not all negative memories. I have to say lately I have felt like the people I thought were my friends here in Thailand truly were friendships out of convenience. With the exception of one person, (and a few wonderful colleagues) you know who you are. The real relationship I am leaving behind is the one I have with Thailand. I have learned so much here. At times dysfunctional, this love hate relationship has changed me forever and I would not trade it for anything. This is my final post as “An American Girl in Chiang Mai.” I will continue a new blog as “An American Girl in Seoul.” I am choosing to leave you with my final words of things I have learned so here it goes, my Words of Wisdom From Thailand Remember you are in a conservative Buddhist country and be respectful of their values and beliefs, Don’t wear a wrap dress on a motorbike, If you chose to get on a motorbike be prepared to crash at least once, Smiling will get you much further than frustration, Smile especially when you are feeling frustrated, Get used to the word “Farang,” Take a moment on occasion to remember not to take yourself too seriously, People will call you fat. You are not Thai size and that’s okay, Complete strangers will go out of their way far more than you would ever expect, when you least expect it. Sometimes when you need it more than they will ever know, Life is different here. Don’t look at a more simplified, hard working life with pity, but stop to think about how much happier people seem. You might even find yourself envying them, Soak it up and learn as much as you can. Stop, pay attention, and observe. There is a lot more to “The Land of Smiles” than meets the eye.

Chiang Rai

On the Golden Triangle trip I passed though Chiang Rai. It is very similar to Chiang Mai so aside from the famous White Temple there’s not much reason to visit there when you live in CM. Unfortunately on the tour we had barely 30 min at the Temple and it was just too rushed. I promised myself I would go back and do it at my own pace. So again I chose motorbike over minibus (on that Golden Triangle ride before we even made it to CR someone vomited in the mini bus). It’s 263 Kilometers from CM on not nearly as fun and curvy but still breathe taking and beautiful. Although mentally ready to leave Thailand there were moments where I looked at the scenery and thought to myself “You are going to miss this.” I stayed in a bit nicer place as it was just for one night and I got an excellent low season price, plus haggled discount. Luckily the Guest House I am staying at in CM let me keep my things there without paying for the night in both places. The guest house was nice. I spent the late afternoon at the white temple. It was really nice to take my time and see everything as I wanted to without feeling rushed. It was also practically empty so taking photos was easier. The White Temple is a modern project which began in 1997 by a local artist named Mr Chalermchai Kositpipat . He is responsible for creating and funding the entire place which is ongoing and not expected to be completed for decades. On the inside is a mural depicting a Buddha on a lotus and all sorts of modern pop culture icons. It’s pretty amazing and a very direct social commentary. The photos speak for themselves and I would recommend it to anyone. On my way home from the temple I was pulling in to the driveway of the hotel when a guy on a motorbike (trying to go around me as I was turning with my signal on right next to the driveway!) slammed into my bike. He scraped me up a bit but just sat there stunned. I looked at him and shooed him off as I was pretty pissed at him for being such and idiot and yelling at people in public is frowned upon in Thai society. Took nap that evening, checked out the CR Night Bazaar which isn’t much to see then retired to my room to watch the season 4 episode of Sons of Anarchy and enjoy my cushy bed with an air conditioned room. I got a really good deal with my bartering skills. I have been on a role with that lately as my Thai has improved dramatically. The next day I slept in, checked out and set off for the “Black House.” It is often referred to as a temple but I was told by locals it is not in fact a temple. The photos cannot do justice to this place. As I arrived I entered the main house. It began to monsoon downpour so everyone cleared out. The care takers began shutting all the windows. I found myself trapped with a few tourists and 2 monks for about 15 min in almost all dark surrounded by animal bones and skins. The Thai artist responsible is Mr. Thawan Duchanee and the grounds include nearly 40 small black houses made of wood, glass, concrete, bricks, or terracotta in various unique styles and design scattered around the temple’s area. This has been a project ongoing for 36 years and development still continues. The cluster of houses accommodates Thawan’s collections of paintings, sculptures, animal bones, skins, horns, and silver and gold items from around the world. Several of the houses exhibit Balinese and Burmese architecture and art dating back to the Ayutthaya period. The artist uses bones as a source of inspiration to paint. Live animals are also housed on the property including a bird, two huge pythons and some horses. When I asked the locals about this they said they inspire him. The place gives you an eerie feeling to say the least, and the rainstorm cleared everyone out so I was pretty much alone which added to the eeriness, but I loved it. I found it absolutely fascinating and so different from anything I have ever seen. I stayed a lot longer than I had originally planned so got a later start back to CM than originally planned but still made it back by dusk.

Pai

This past week I stayed in a guest house due to a falling out over the planned living situation. This is what lead to buying a plane ticket home much sooner. Before leaving Thailand there were two things I absolutely had to do. See Pai, and return to Chiang Rai for a final visit to the White Temple, which also included a visit to the Black House. After much debate between taking the mini bus that runs hourly from CM to Pai or Motorbiking it I decided to take the Fino. I had been on part of the road to Pai when I went camping in a truck, and it's no joke. Near the beginning of the journey I was coming around a corner and a snake was crossing the road at the same time. It was at least 6 feet long and the width of my arm. Scared me to death and there was no avoiding it. It squirmed and my guess is the truck I had just passed finished the job unless it made it's way across first. Biggest snake I saw while there but at least it wasn't face to face. We are talking major mountain switchbacks plus potholes and dodging water buffalo, along with their poo. Thing is the mini bus drivers are batshit and drive like maniacs insuring that on each trip at least someone gets sick. If that person isn't you, you still have to deal with the smell. I have in that situation just different destination. Fino won, and I did the 138 Kilometer drive on my motorbike. It was fun, I loved it, and some might think I am nuts but it made me happy. Pai proved to be lovely. The first night I stayed in a hostel based on a recommendation by a friend. Beautiful, in the middle of a rice field, the accommodation is a hut with bunks, mosquito nets and no actual walls. I lasted there one night. Not because of the place itself, but the vibe of the group staying at the time. Luckily I met some lovely Irish guys who felt the same and we stuck together a bit. The day I arrived I immediately took off for Pam Bok Waterfall. On the way in I had busted up my toe and the kind people at the hostel helped me patch it up. Well it turned out the only way to actually see/ photograph the waterfall was to get in the water. Oh well I figured there are lots of good minerals and shit in that water, never mind all the bacteria. It was beautiful. Next was Pai Canyon. It was about half past 4 so I headed up with the intention to hike around the canyon and take photos back at the top for sunset. Well my attempt was foiled by my busted up, now waterfall soaked, toe. It's about 13 km out of town so it didn't make town to go and come back. I just hung. Sunset was at 7. I arrived about 5. Let's just say a lot of photos, and directly following my "cousin it" photo a Chinese man approached to as if "I need some help." Sunset proved to be worth it. I headed back into town and found a place to eat. Ran into some acquaintances, went to a bar, had a beer. Then a bucket. Then some more drinks. I don't recall paying for a single drink and I am not quite sure how that happened. Eventually we ended up at a bar just near the road to the hostel. The Irish guys jumped in the back of a police pick up truck and hitched a ride. Once I arrived at the after hours bar I decided it was time to call it a night and went to my bunk, snuggled into my mosquito net and assed out. The next day I woke up and decided that I needed my own room that night. It was fine I just had this feeling there were going to be thunderstorms that afternoon (which proved true) and wanted my own space to hang out. I checked out and found a great little guest house that gave me a room w/ double bed, cable tv, own bathroom/ shower for only 50 baht more than the night before. He also gave me low season plus a bit of a discount. I set off for a waterfall and ended up on a trek through the jungle only to find the trail washed out. So I high tailed it out of there and went to another falls. It was quite the jungle trek, all alone and I got a bit freaked out. I am pretty hard core and tough but turns out even I have a limit. I set off for another waterfall and spent about an hour there before the thunder started so I left and went to take a nap in my cozy room. I woke up just in time for sunset, and the storm had passed. I decided to motorbike up to a well known temple that is a viewpoint over all of Pai. Well the storm hadn't cleared enough and it was still rainy and too cloudy for a sunset. There were about 10 other people up there and I sat for a bit. Then when I went to explore the temple I slipped on the wet tail and bruised the hell out of my ass. A few of the guys rushed over to help. Mostly embarrassed and wet, but we had a good laugh. So typical. Later that night I went out to buy a souvenir tee shirts and ran into the Irish guys. We had a lovely steak dinner and I had a great nights sleep only to leave the next morning back to CM for the super fun ride on my motorbike. Trip complete, mission successful and all around lovely.

"I am moving to another country."

A few days ago I said the words out loud for the first time. "I am moving to another country." It's funny how we process things and although it weighs heavily on the mind, it usually takes time for reality to set in. Transitions are a funny thing. Whether it's a new job, getting married, having kids, or moving to another country sooner than expected, we all process in different ways. Lately I have found myself trapped in this. Mind racing. Wondering. The emotions attached to this have been unexpected and not the easiest to deal with. Sorting through what's real and what is just a product of my stress has been tricky. I don't feel like my head is in the best place but don't know how to talk to anyone about it because I myself don't completely understand what is going on. It's bringing up a fair amount of insecurity and sadness that I was not prepared for. I know I have been stubborn about the whole "everything happens for a reason" crap but it seems this move was a blessing in disguise. The school I work for is a mess and people who have been there for over 10 years are resigning. We have a new administration this year and they rule with an iron fist, creating a culture of fear and it's ugly. There was a time when I loved working there, so it saddens me, but such is life. Sometimes things that happen to us appear negative when really they are just the swift kick we need to move on. So what's my problem then? I know all this yet still am struggling with this transition. Thailand and I have a bit of a dysfunctional relationship but at the end of the day there is love. Maybe it's the uncertainty? It has been less than a year since I packed up my life and moved here only to be "kicked off the island" and forced to figure things out on my own again. I don't really know... but that is the point, I suppose. There are so many things to look forward to but I feel like they are just out of my reach right now. I am elated at the thought of being home in Oregon, seeing my family and friends, and embarking on a new adventure in Seoul. I think we all struggle with wishing away time at certain points in life. I am not sure which way is up at the moment, but it's alright. There is no reason to feel sorry, my life is amazing and I know it but that doesn't mean it's not difficult at times. We have to acknowledge these things in order to sort through them, so here's hoping.

Reality? Check!

As I drove to school the air was cool, a welcome relief provided by a storm passing through the night before. For a moment it reminded me of home. Naturally rain makes me miss Oregon, but with the craziness of the past few days my mind quickly went back to spinning... It started with a trip earlier in the week to the US Embassy in Chiang Mai. A very unsuccessful trip that reminded me just how useless we are back in the good old U S of A. It was possibly the swift kick back to reality that I needed to remind myself why it is I have chosen, and will continue to, live abroad. I had made an appointment at 8:15 hoping they would help with my background check for Korea. It requires fingerprints to be submitted to the FBI and after asking around a few people had told me to go there before trying the Thai Police. I arrived, showed my passport and entered a room that is only for security checks. They put my purse through the x- ray and promptly asked me to remove any electronics. So I took out my phone and headphones, thinking that would be all. Then they asked for my lip gloss, so i pulled out two from a side pocket. Then my sunglasses. Followed by everything else that could be considered a cosmetic and I am not talking over 100 ml here. But you see there is a rip in the lining of my purse, and all sorts of goodies have fallen down there. So finally I just asked if I could leave the whole thing with them and with a look of relief the security guard agreed. Politely I took my passport, paperwork and wallet and proceeded to the next room. I sat for 20 minutes only to be given a print out from the website (that I had already seen), and told I need to go to Bangkok to get my fingerprints done. When I asked the Thai women helping me if she could suggest anywhere local she replied with, "we don't like to tell people where to go in Chiang Mai. We used to do it here at the embassy, but not anymore. I'm sorry." I politely smiled and got up to walk away, but I am sure I could not hide the look on my face that read: Really?! OK so that was a complete waste of time and sent me into a tailspin as I drove back to school. That same morning I discovered that I had a lump in my armpit. About the size of a marble, semi- hard, and very sore. While travelling in the Islands I had noticed a bit of soreness but chalked it up to a nick from shaving or an ingrown hair. Once it became larger and that sore I knew I had to go get it checked out. So after school I went to Rajavej Hospital near my house, with a stop off at home to wait out the afternoon downpour. The attending physician examined me by pressing firmly on my armpit. When he asked me if it hurt, I replied yes. The reason being he was hurting me. Ultimately he concluded I must have lifted something that strained my muscles. I tried to explain to him that there was in fact a lump there, but I didn't get the feeling he understood. I decided that if the problem persisted I would seek a second opinion. Luckily it went away within about a week. Now I have an identical one on the other side. Not a cause for concern at this point. It is ridiculously hot, and I sweat. A lot. It seems perfectly natural that this would throw some things outta whack. Let's just say if you ever truly dislike someone, send them to Thailand in April. The next morning I woke up just before 5 am. This has become a daily occurrence thanks to the heat and lack of A/C in my household. As I was drinking my one cup of morning coffee, watching New Girl, Pom my Thai Mom came running upstairs looking startled. She was shouting in Thai to wake up her son who is visiting. I like to call him Chef. As they came back downstairs I realized there was a Farang man, with very slurred speech, out on the front porch. My first instinct was that he must be very drunk but as the details emerged it seems he was likely on something as well. He had climbed the wall next to our house and fallen into the side yard. Mom was back in the kitchen and thought something had happened to me in the shower. Upon further investigation this inebriated man emerged nearly scaring her to death. He was looking for his hotel and had lost his wallet. Chef speaks English and is a rather large Thai man so it's a good thing he was there. Otherwise I may have had to deal with him as the only other English speaker currently in the house (Tui is away). They went out to the street and after about 15 min, as I was stepping out of the shower, I could hear this Farang shouting profanities at Chef and the Tuk Tuk driver who had arrived. Eventually they managed to get him in taxi and off to his hotel. I wondered what would happen with the driver since this guy had no money. It still blows my mind how people behave this way in such a foreign place. Can you say Thai Jail?

Coming to Terms

With wounds still fresh from a layoff last June news of my position dissolving yet again was hard to swallow. Within 24 hours I went from devastation to action plan. This life throws things our way. I don't know if everything happens for a reason and frankly, I don't care. All I know is recent experience has taught me I can handle anything. Knowing ourselves is important and that is one thing this experience has taught me. I have always had a certain sense of independence. This is likely due to growing up with a strong independent mother. For better or worse that stubbornness has stuck. When it hits the fan I stay and unplug it instead of run away. To know ourselves is something wonderful, but to truly be comfortable with being alone is invaluable.
My time in Thailand has brought friendships, heartache and a sense of independence I never imagined. Less than a year ago I was working full time and living with Eric on the road to settling down. If someone had told me I would soon live in Thailand along with travel to Laos and Burma... well you can imagine my response.
Korea ignites a new excitement. John Ritter, a contact and senior adviser at Search Associates wrote to me, "Korea is not exotic, but it's very foreign which is equally appealing." I love this. SE Asia is plenty exotic and I can always move back. Seoul makes me excited because I am certain it is like no other place I have seen. It's modern. It's huge. It's foreign. The idea of living somewhere I am not likely to visit has always been appealing to me. I am still sorting out the details but the perks are there. My contract will include a salary increase,a fully paid and furnished apartment, airfare home, and more perks.
I've been clear about how I feel about making plans. For now Korea is my next move and a gut feeling makes me certain of this. Anything beyond is still TBD. I have learned to live without much and am happier for it, but I would like to have more options. What I do know is I can make money there. Money gives you options and I am satisfied with that, for now.

The Other Side

The morning after all the excitement of a Tsunami evacuation, we set out for Ko Samui on the other side of Thailand. A minivan picked us up from Pearl Beach Resort, clearly on "Thai time," and we set out for the Gulf of Thailand. The journey was easy enough, aside from a driver that rubbed both Sara and myself the wrong way. We arrived in Donsak to catch the ferry to Samui, only to miss it by a few minutes due to our drivers need to stop at 7-11. We know better then to sweat the small stuff so in an hour we made our way to Koh Samui. Our reservation had already been made (thanks to the excellent planning skills of Sara) but the owner's jeep was still in the shop which meant no ride from the pier. We are a bit stubborn when it comes to getting ripped off and denied offers from aggressive drivers upon arrival. This backfired as no one was around otherwise, and we just ended up walking a kilometer or two up to the main road. A few people stopped to offer us a ride, for 500 Baht, which we obviously declined. Eventually we made our way to a resort and took a cab for 200 Baht each.
Once we found our bungalow it was clear we weren't going to accomplish much on this island. It's privately owned, just next door to the landlord who rents it out to visitors. It had one main room, a kitchen, and a bathroom. For once the place actually looked just like it did in the photos, and we were set. That night we ventured out to the cheapest place in the area recommended by our host. The next few days consisted of lay on the beach, read, nap, eat, repeat. The one morning we ventured out the heat got the best of us and the rest of the day was spent rehydrating.
Three days later we ventured off to Ko Tao. A ferry from Samui, to Ko Phangan which we later would return to, and on to Koh Tao took about 2 1/2 hours. Upon arrival we decided not to be stubborn and walk around with our heavy bags, and just paid the 100 baht each to get to our resort. Out of the entire trip we were mindful of the prices and most places we have stayed were on the cheaper side. Every girl loves a splurge though, and this was it. Imagine private bungalows descending the hillside, with the most amazing grounds full of flora and fauna, spectacular views, and an infinity pool. We were surrounded by nature which proved to be a little more nature than we bargained for, but I will get to that. That evening we relaxed and had an early dinner on the grounds. Followed by a trek into town for reinforcements aka snacks from 7-11.
We spent the bulk of our time enjoying the amenities of the resort along with venturing out on our last day. We rented a motorbike from a local shop nearby. The woman proved to be not very Thai in her demeanor, and was wearing only a towel, but that happens. We borrowed snorkel gear and tried our luck in Shark Bay. After swimming around for a while and seeing only the same (beautiful) fish we decided to head to Freedom Beach which happens to be right next door. We snorkeled there for a bit, laid out in the sun for a short time before deciding food was a great idea. This proved to be wise as my Norwegian roots don't allow for a very high sun tolerance (and yes Mom and Dad, I wore sunscreen). We headed back to the resort and eventually ventured out back into town for dinner (after a sunset photo shoot), then returned the bike to our oh- so- friendly lady who we rented from. I made it a point to give her an extra cheerful Kap Kun Ka (thank you) as we left.
Upon arrival back at the resort Sara went to use the internet and I made my way back to the room. As I was getting ready for bed a spider crawled from my clothes into my backpack. Earlier in the day the biggest spider in the wild I have ever seen had been in our room and despite no fear of them freaked me the hell out. As I was mulling over the idea of I shake the bag, Sara catches it for release, my back decided to spasm. The resort being on the side of the mountain meant lots of stair and hill climbing. I am in fact an old man, and when over excerpted my back goes out. So here I am unable to move waiting for Sara to get back. When she arrived I let her know what was happening only to crack up laughing as she shook my bag, jumping back each time, as my clothes were strewn about the room. Eventually we were fairly certain the spider had fled out on the balcony and a restless night of scary spider dreams ensued.
The next morning we made our way down to the Pier, luckily this time with a ride from the resort. The ferry to Ko Phangan was nice and only took an hour and a half. We had arranged pick up at the pier but with no confirmation from the resort. Although uncertain we hung around when they were not there, not in the mood to negotiate a ride. Luckily they showed and we arrived at our final resort of the trip a short while later. A walk into town, some Mexican food, and a lot of Law and Order sums up the rest of the day. It's located near town and right next to the beach with two pools, so I am certain that is pretty much all we will do for the final days of this trip. It has been amazing and even after almost two weeks I still can't believe the color of this water, and the beauty of these islands.

The Tsunami, well sort of

On our last day in Koh Lanta I was still taking it easy in order to not be sick for the 8 hour ferry/ bus ride the following day to Koh Samui. We had gone down to the beach in the morning, and once Sam and Becky left I napped and Sara went down to the beach. As I was napping I felt the earth shaking. At first I thought it was from Sara in the hammock, but as it continued I decided it could be an earthquake. It was slight enough that it triggered the idea but still had me questioning my sanity in my current state. The thoughts possible earthquake and tsunami potential ran through my mind, as I fell back asleep. A little while later Sara came in to let me know there had been an 8.9 earthquake (later down graded to 8.7) in Indonesia and that there was a tsunami warning for the Andaman Sea coast. We began to pack our bags just in case we needed to leave. Without a timeline I started to get a little freaked. I know enough about Tsunamis that I can be realistic about when it may occur, but the fact that it was unknown to us scared me. Also the realization that we are in fact, still in Thailand. I love this country, but trust is low. We got our stuff and made our way to the front of our resort. A was there and promptly put us in a cart attached to a motorbike with Tong as the driver. As we made our way out to the road and to higher ground there were people everywhere headed in the same direction. They were hopping into trucks, onto motorbikes or hoofing it on foot. Any twinge of fear was eased by Tong making us laugh, and the reassurance the these are good guys running the resort, and we trust them. Only later did we find out how lucky we were. A Swedish couple we met on the bus to Samui told us all about their awful experience of no warning, and no help from their resort. Only when the sirens went off and they got a notification from relatives at home, did they take off to climb up the hill minus their things, they didn't even have time to find their shoes. We were taking to another hotel called Lanta Loft among many other evacuated foreigners, where we waited it out. Eventually the announcement was made that the wave would hit at 6:30 pm. It turned out to be a 30 centimeter wave and I am not aware if there was a recordable wave from the aftershocks. We waited those out as well and around 8pm made our way back to Pearl Beach for spring rolls, pad thai, and mango shakes. I also realized this was my 7 month anniversary of arrival in Thailand, to the day. Luckily this quake was horizontal, which most are, and it takes a vertical quake to produce a large tsunami wave. In 2004 Thailand had no form of warning system and loss of life was significant as most victims were caught by surprise. In the aftermath systems were put in place for detection as well as warning sirens. Turns out this is the first time that the system has been used since. It's unfortunate it took such a tragedy, but at least when it happens again people will be warned and loss of life will be significantly less.
The following day we made our way to the other side of Southern Thailand. Warnings of a 9.0 magnitude earthquake for The Andaman side are out, that could potentially create a tsunami. How valid these are remains to be seen. Here's hoping nothing else happens now. At least we are tucked away in The Gulf of Thailand for the remainder of the trip, on the safe side.

The Islands: Phuket to Ko Lanta

We arrived in Phuket only to find it was exactly as I had pictured it. The word gross comes to mind repeatedly when I think about it. Patong Beach is a series of roads that resemble Koh San Rd in Bangkok and are reminiscent of Vegas. Along with a strip full of Farang tourists, pushy Thai salesman, and aggressive women offering their services, among countless hotels, bars, and over- priced restaurants. Just gross. The intent was just to pass through, and that's exactly what we did. Arrived at our hotel (which was nice enough) Thursday night, and left on our ferry to Ko Phi Phi at 1:30 pm the following day. If the intent had been to spend a few days there we would have stayed on a more remote part of Phuket and I am sure it would have been nicer. However moving on to better places was the priority and precisely what we did.

The ferry to Phi Phi takes about an hour and a half. The excitement and giddiness I experienced was unprecedented as I have never seen a tropical beach before, let alone water the color of turquoise, yet clear! Phi Phi is indeed the Cancun of Thailand and is bizarre in it's own right. Luckily it's beauty make up for this, and I now understand why people put it on their bucket list. Sara had done an amazing job of pre- booking all our accommodations and we were excited to arrive and find our bungalow. Upon arrival at The PP October Guest House they informed us they did not have our room anymore. Even though Sara had confirmed by email a few weeks prior. Our new friend Andy a foreigner who works at the Visa Dive Shop, lives on the Island and acted as our center for info during the trip, informed us that they most likely gave the room away earlier that day to some naive farangs. Whom most likely walked in and unknowingly were charged twice the price. He also warned us that the Thai people on Phi Phi have become greedy and overcharge any chance they get. He was right. We immediately went on a mission to find accommodations and ended up at an alright place with ac and cable. It worked out fine as most of our time on Phi Phi was spent exploring. The following day we went to the highest point on the island to enjoy the viewpoint. It is indeed a trek and Nicole and I fell behind as she was hungover, my flops were slippery (I have sweaty feet, gross I know.) and Sara and Nick walk much faster. They didn't wait, and we didn't go looking for them so it ended up that we were separated for a short time only to intersect with them on a random trail near the top. The view was breathtaking, and we eventually made our way back down to the room to rejoin each other. Followed by a nice beach- laying- nap- reading session on a quiet part of the island Andy had recommended.
The next day we took a long boat ride to Maya Bay. It's very famous and well known not only for it's remarkable beauty, but because the movie "The Beach" was filmed there. Which I still have yet to see. I am not entirely sure how to proceed describing this place. We made a stop to swim a bit in the most beautiful water I have ever seen. The driver of the wooden longboat we hired to take us to Maya Bay and around for 3 hours proved to be awesome. He took photos for us while we were in the water, found the best spots, and allowed us to frolick on our own private beach in Maya Bay. A photo shoot promptly ensued. The only disappointment of the day was we arrived in Maya Bay during high tide, and it was very crowded so we did not actually get out of the boat on "The Beach." Otherwise it was perfection and I snorkeled for the first time in my life!
The following day we left for Ko Lanta and arrived at our resort in the afternoon. Pearl Beach Resort proved to be an amazing find (thank you Sara). Right next to the beach, we stayed in a beautiful hut complete with a/c and a flat screen. Upon arrival there was an issue with our reservation but luckily this time we were taken care of and even given a discount. The two main guys running the resort are A and Tong. Both delightful people that really made our stay wonderful. Unfortunately I got pretty sick and spent most of the time nursing a gnarly head cold in bed. This did not prevent me from enjoying time on the beach. The rest of our crew hung around the resort as well. On our second evening I was feeling particularly ill. I went up to the front to ask A where the nearest pharmacy was. Some speaking in Thai ensued and next thing I knew one of the women was taking me on her motorbike to her sisters pharmacy. They were so helpful and made me feel looked after. Always a nice thing when you feel like poo.
Ko Lanta really was the epitome of a relaxing mellow vacation and despite the sickness, I really enjoyed our time there.

How Do You Make God Laugh?

An all to familiar scenario occurred on Wednesday morning. I was getting ready for my next lesson, when I was called into the Headmaster's office, and told the Vice Principal was waiting there as well. As soon as I entered his office it was clear that the news was not good. I was told that although I was not being fired, they no longer have a position here for me at NIS for next year. The enrollment for this grade level is only at 12 students, which means only one teacher is necessary. In this case my teaching partner has been here for 13 years, so it's obvious who must go. The situation is more complex, but I will get to that. After hearing this news I immediately went into meltdown mode. As hard as I tried to fight the tears back, they won. I was excused from the meeting and told to let him know about recommendations, which he would be happy to give. I made my way to the nearest restroom, and promptly had a panic attack. I am not a particularly dramatic person, but given the circumstances and the fact that this very same thing happened to me already within the last year, it makes sense that I completely lost control. It's like someone has just punched you in the exact spot that has already been bruised and it just really hurts. There is also the fact that I am currently living on my own in SE Asia, with no back up plan or safety net. Starting over yet again is a frightening prospect.

The rest of the day is a bit of a blur. I pretty much just went into survival mode. I had to avoid my closest friends at lunch for fear that as soon as I saw them I would lose it again. After school brought more tears, a pedicure, take out and an early bed time. Then waking up in the middle of the night only to cry myself back to sleep, and again in the morning as I got ready for school.
The next morning meant having to break the news to my teaching partner. We work very well together and have become quite close this year. Earlier in the year she had approached our Vice Principal about next year. For the past two years in a row enrollment has looked low for K-2 as of the end of the school year, but by August it increased dramatically leaving her with far too many students. Two years ago Kam was brought in, and this year it was me. History continued to repeat itself and it is likely that she will have to go though this all over again for the third year in a row. When she had this conversation with our VP she was told there would be two teachers next year and not to worry. No one has approached her about the class size or the fact that she will be solo, and clearly our Headmaster has made the executive decision. Bottom line is if I am not in K-2 with Shafaq, I don't want to be at NIS. Although recommendations are being offered no effort has been made to find me another placement within the school. I know that there are openings that I am qualified for. Some I am supposed to know about, and some I am not. Clearly I am not seen as enough of an asset. I have only been here for 6 months, and am choosing to focus my energy on my next move over wondering why.
So within a day I have gone from meltdown mode to figure it out mode. I have already made connections via friends to a recruiter in Korea, and a senior staff member of an agency who works with International Schools all over the world. There are other schools in Chiang Mai, but unfortunately it is late in the game and pretty much everywhere in Thailand has already done their recruiting/ hiring. The other factor at play is now I am considered a "local hire" which means I am less likely to get a contract that includes benefits and a flight package for a visit home. This means my best bet is to leave Thailand for a year, and possibly come back as an International hire again. The decision has been made to pursue Korea. There is a lot of money to be made there. I have struggled financially this year as NIS is one of the lowest paying International Schools in Thailand. I am currently communicating with the recruiter in Seoul to figure it all out. Ideally I will stay in CM for 4 more months, and then move on to start a job there. I plan to leave it at that for now. No use in making too many plans 'cause the Universe doesn't cooperate anyway.

Single Serving Friends

March 11th marked my 6 month anniversary of arrival in SE Asia and has got me to thinking a lot about relationships. Moreover, I have been thinking a lot about how fleeting relationships can be here. I know I mentioned this a few posts back, but it has weighed enough on my mind lately that I decided it deserves an entire post.
Chuck Palahniuk coined the term "single serving friends" in his novel turned movie, "Fight Club." This refers to those people you meet, exchange stories with, maybe spend a large chunk of time with all at once, and then most likely never see again (like on an airplane). This is a very common occurrence in the life of an expat. So there are two ways you can view this: for an optimist this can be seen as an amazing opportunity to meet different people from all over the world, and make connections. For those who are perpetual pessimists you could say that we are constantly investing time in people we will likely never see again. I like to believe I am somewhere in the middle. With modern day technology, mainly Facebook, you can maintain at least some sort of connection. Plus there is always the possibility that your paths will cross again at some point, whether intentionally or not. I like the idea of knowing people from all around the world. If I visit the hometown of someone I met while traveling one day there will be that familiar face. On the flip side these Single Serving friends make for a very inconsistent life style. Here in CM I am lucky enough to have a support network of a few close friends, whom I know have my back. I couldn't ask for much more after only 6 months. I often come across visitors that I wish were around longer, and this is always a tough one. There is the constant possibility for a meaningful friendship or even relationship, just not given the circumstances and/or timing. You are forced to really know yourself, and have a lot of independence whether you like it or not. To know this is to understand you can be surrounded by people, but feel lonelier than you have ever been before.

Adventure Indeed

Little did I know when I wrote that "adventure awaits," that the following weeks would be full of it...

It all started with an impromptu trip with a new friend around the Golden Triangle which is an area where Thailand meets Laos and Burma. Most of the day is spent in the van, but it is a unique experience. The White temple in Chiang Rai is now in my top 3 of temples I have seen here, including Shwedagon Paya in Myanmar. The White Temple has been funded and created by one man. He is an artist and is currently painting a very modern art mural on the inside. At the very top there is a Buddha and lotus flower above a skull. The rest is representations of American Pop Culture including but not limited to: Spider Man, Angry Birds, Harry Potter, Keanu Reeves- Matrix style, and The World Trade Center exploding while a snake and gas pump are wrapped around it. It appears this man really needs to learn how to form an opinion ;)

The following week I had my first motorbike wreck on a Sunday afternoon. It was very minor, but not to me! A Thai girl in front of me slammed on her brakes (for absolutely NO reason), and somehow I lost control and ended up on the ground when I reacted. It was one of those bizarre moments where everything is in slow motion, you don't recall what happened, and it's just a blur. Luckily an Australian couple was nearby, and the man came running out into the street to help me. He spoke to me, but I have no idea what he said. Shock I suppose. They stayed with me for a few minutes. My injuries were very minor, and luckily I had worn jeans that day. He offered to take me home by driving my bike for me. I gracefully declined, it was very kind but I knew I had to just get back on. Thankfully I was only a kilometer or so from home. As much as I am ready to have my own home again, there is nothing better than having a Thai Mom to come home to after that. She tended to my injuries, and there was no need to go to the hospital. The following day I was quite sore. Compared to the way these things usually go down I was very lucky, and it was extremely minor. However it still took it's toll in my head. Instead of just being pissed off all the time at the absolutely incomprehensible idiocy of Thai drivers, this was now combined with extreme fear. The problem is although you have to learn not to be too defensive (because Thai's can be extremely aggressive), it is equally as dangerous to be overly passive. It's taken me about a week to come back to a happy medium.

So for now I am just enjoying having visitors, and waiting out the just-over-a-week until we leave for the Thai Islands. Ready to get my tan on, and lay on the beach with a book. Let's keep it to this kind of adventure for while...

Adventure Awaits

February came and went faster than I care to recognize. Throughout the shortest month of the year I turned 27, visited Chiang Dao, went camping on the top of a mountain in Mae Hong Son province with Thai friends, and as March began I found myself in a bit of an existential crisis...

No one ever said moving to SE Asia alone would be easy. As someone who does not feel meant to live in the US I have found myself ahead of the curve with the transition until the 6 month mark, where I am beginning to really feel it. I suppose the easiest way to explain it is an overwhelming sense that I hate this ridiculous (at times) country, and the urge to lock myself in my bedroom. This of course does pass and for 98% of the time I am infatuated and in love with this place, there is the 2% where I completely fall apart.

It seems that relationships in Thailand are fleeting. You may have a really close friend who will leave in a month, or 6, or possibly a year or longer. What does this mean in terms of building a stable life? Well I think the answer is that really doesn't happen for people who chose this life. If you are very lucky there are people around you who are true friends. Investing time in them is never a waste. You can say the same for any relationship, anywhere in the world. People leave, get married, have children, etc. You really have to be secure with yourself and comfortable with being/ travelling alone. Like I said, for me 98% of the time this is fine, but then there is that 2% where I am inclined to eat copious amounts of junk food and watch anything in English I can get my hands on.

For now it is a matter of acknowledging these feelings and waiting for them to pass. In the mean time just trying to remember that I live in an amazing place, and am very lucky. The Thai Beaches and April break cannot come fast enough. Thankfully, adventure awaits.

2012: Off to a Great Start

Upon returning from Burma, Chiang Mai felt like home more than ever. I found myself with more confidence as well. I would walk into a shop before and be intimidated, but post Burma I felt like I could handle anything. Nothing toughens you up like a trip of that sort, especially alone. I have never experienced culture shock in Thailand, but the last few days in Burma I was starting to feel it.
I've noticed lately that I have to pinch myself at times as a reminder I live here. It's not so much taking it for granted, rather than feeling so adjusted that a water buffalo holding up traffic in the middle of the road is no biggie. Leaving the city helps as a reminder.
This past weekend I road tripped to Chiang Dao with my lovely friend Sara. Friday afternoon we hopped on our motorbikes and made the little-over-an-hour trip through the mountains, and along a river. When the air blowing off the cool river would hit me, it made me feel like I was back home- In Oregon.
The weekend was spent at the base of Thailand's third largest mountain, Doi Chiang Dao. Our bamboo hut was cozy but nicely furnished. The food was amazing. Saturday was spent lounging by the pool. Sara reading a book called "Falang," and I chose "Ladyboys" from the shelf of used books to exchange. We also explored Chiang Dao Cave and Sara purchased a sweet pair of flops for only 30 Baht! It was pretty much eat, read, relax. Repeat. Worrying doesn't change the outcome, but sometimes you need to escape your environment to rest your mind.
After a very chaotic few weeks at school this was a successful attempt to just clear our heads. I will not go into details, as it is my professional integrity at stake, but there was an incident in our class that resulted in an accusation from a parent and the most stressful day of my career thus far. This along with many other stressors and behavior issues had really just pushed me over the edge mentally and emotionally. I know this sounds a tad dramatic, but in reality I am not exaggerating. If anything I am under reporting the magnitude of those weeks.
The good news is that through all this I had the support of my friends and colleagues here in Thailand. Their help made all the difference in the world.
No matter where you live in the world you are bound to run into hard times. Through all the chaos and drama that Thailand has brought into my life I am thankful for two things. The first is that through it all I have remained true to myself. Not only to who I am, but to the person I want to be. It feels good to know this, and that karma truly does exist. The latter is that I have built friendships and relationships with people here that are true and genuine.

After a wonderful birthday weekend- including 5 birthday meals! I have so much to look forward to. Including, but not limited to, a much anticipated visitor. We can't control many things in our lives, but we can control how we chose to deal with them. Most importantly, if we are very lucky, we can chose wonderful people to surround ourselves with.

27th Birfday

In recent years my birthday has become a day of reflection. It started when I turned 25. I suppose it's from inching closer to 30 each year, which is something I actually look forward to. It's a time for me to check in with myself. Where are you now? Where did you think you would be at 27? Pretty much just a "how are things going?" in my head.
If someone would have told me I would be celebrating this birthday with wonderful friends, in Thailand, I would not have believed them. Or that the very same weekend I would attend a wedding anniversary party with people I met while traveling, alone, in Burma for 18 days. It's funny where life takes us. After everything I went through this past year- lay off, break- up, car accident, losing my apartment, etc. things have completely turned around. I am healthier mentally and physically than I have been since I can remember. It feels like I have built a life here in Chiang Mai, and I am completely in love. Sometimes I wonder, is it me that has changed or is it this place? If I leave and go to another continent will I still feel this way? I think the answer lays in a little bit of both. Making peace with yourself is invaluable, and not to be taken for granted. Today, as I was driving home from a Saturday event at school I was thinking to myself how lucky I am. All these amazing experiences and places and people. In the next moment I realized I am not just lucky. This is not the universe throwing me a bone for once. This is a result of the choices I have made.
We make our own luck.

Settling In: A Long Overdue Update

Since my last post in November Chiang Mai has really begun to feel like home. The stretch before school ended for our winter break wasn't very exciting, and consisted of long days at school, followed by mellow evenings with an early bed time. Weekends spent exploring a bit, but nowhere near as much as when I first arrived. It's natural that this wears off after a bit.
The excitement has shifted from everything being "shiny and new", to getting used to seeing temples everywhere, monks walking around to collect morning offerings, people wearing socks with sandals, and driving in a manor that would be considered "reckless endangerment" in the USA. Now what is exciting is the comfort of having a Thai family, making true friends, volunteering and getting involved with the local community, not getting lost every time I go out, and coming home from Burma to truly appreciate Chiang Mai as my home.

Turns out that going to a country with a long history of oppression is like going back in time 50 years...

Imagine a place where men wear skirts, there is red spit all over the ground, people honk instead of signal, you are lucky if you can get a hold of some Tylenol, internet works when it feels like it, and the only channel in English is Al Jazeera News...

Here is a link to my Facebook album from Burma: It includes captions that are supposed to read like a sort of narrative. I spent 3 hours putting it together, so am choosing not to re write it as a blog :)

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10100265795325946.2494745.11502441&type=3t